Jokes for Biology Class

MOTHER'S MILK

Students in an AP Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was: “Name seven advantages of ‘Mother’s Milk’…. The students had to answer all seven advantages, or he/she would get no credit. One thoughtful young man turned in the following exam

1. It is perfect formula for the child.

2. It provides immunity against several diseases.

3. It is always at the right temperature.

4. It is inexpensive.

5. It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.

6. It is always available as needed.

He got stuck and couldn’t think of another advantage. He had completed the rest of the exam. He knew how important seven points were toward the final score. Finally, in desperation, as the bell rang, and as tests were being collected, he wrote:

7. It comes in such cute containers.

……………………. He got an “A

(http://jokeoftheday.wordpress.com/2007/03/14/biology-class/)

HEAVENLY MISTAKE

A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near-death experience. During that experience she sees her guardian angel and asks if this is it. The angel says no and explains that she has another 30-40 years to live.

Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital for a few more days and have a face lift, liposuction and a tummy tuck. She even has someone come in and change her hair color. She figures since she's got another 30 or 40 years she might as well make the most of it. She walks out the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital.

She arrives in heaven again, sees her guardian angel and says, "I thought you said I had another 30-40 years!!"

The angel replies, "Sorry. I didn't recognize you.

(http://www.goofyhumor.com/jokes/?joke=85.txt)

FROG'S WISH

A big old warty swamp frog decided to call the Psychic Hotline and see what his future held for him.

The psychic said, "You will meet a very beautiful young girl with long blond hair, who will want to know everything about you .

"That's great!" exclaimed the frog. "When and where will I meet her? At a fancy palace ball or down by the pond?"

The psychic hesitated, then responded solemnly, "You will meet her next semester...in Biology Lab!"

(http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Oracle/5470/biohumor.html)

STUPID ANATOMIST

The following is a true story about an anatomist.

One day after sleeping badly, an anatomist went to his frog laboratory and removed from a cage one frog with white spots on its back. He placed it on a table and drew a line just in front of the frog. "Jump frog, jump!" he shouted. The little critter jumped two feet forward. In his lab book, the anatomist scribbled, "Frog with four legs jumps two feet."

Then, he surgically removed one leg of the frog and repeated the experiment. "Jump, jump!" To which, the frog leaped forward 1.5 feet. He wrote down, "Frog with three legs jumps 1.5 feet."

Next, he removed a second leg. "Jump frog, jump!" The frog managed to jump a foot. He scribbled in his lab book, "Frog with two legs jumps one foot."

Not stopping there, the anatomist removed yet another leg. "Jump, jump!" The poor frog somehow managed to move 0.5 feet forward. The scientist wrote, "Frog with one leg jumps 0.5 feet."

Finally, he eliminated the last leg. "Jump, jump!" he shouted, encouraging forward progress for the frog. But despite all its efforts, the frog could not budge. "Jump frog, jump!" he cried again. It was no use; the frog would not response. The anatomist thought for a while and then wrote in his lab book, "Frog with no legs goes deaf."

(http://www.jupiterscientific.org/sciinfo/jokes/biologyjokes.html